Maybe you haven't noticed, but tallulah has been on a haitus of sorts over the past two years. I've experienced a lot of creative unrest coupled with...
TO DO | TO MAKE
April 13, 2016
"Hope" is the Thing with Feathers
March 16, 2018
October 1, 2017
Today is New Year's Day, which means it's time for the word of the year. This word has been particularly hard to discern, as REVIVAL is still very much in motion. 2017 merely laid the groundwork for revival instead of completing it. So while I sat in silence at the beach and sought the Lord, I asked Him to refocus that word for me, or at least give me better insight as to what He wants me to learn. What's the end game of revival? Once I'm revived, what should be the word that lingers in my heart and moves me to act? What keeps the home-fires burning here?
The word that bounces around in my prayer life the most lately is AMPLE.
Ample: /adjective/ Enough or more than enough; plentiful. Large and accommodating.
He is ample. His love is more than enough. His gifts are abundant and lavish. This word strikes me to my core. Prior to my two weeks of fun-employment, I've felt that I've lacked a lot of things. There was never any time. There were never enough financial resources. There was never enough sleep. If He could just bless me in this way, I'd really appreciate it. If He would just work this out for me, I'd be more thankful. There wasn't enough to go around. Things were insufficient, skimpy, and unfruitful. Not always, but mostly. There have definitely been moments of complete joy and satisfaction, so I don't want you to think I'm ungrateful. But most of those moments were hoisted on the shoulders of a girl running on empty, held up by the backbone of someone who was worn out.
Any time I feel this way in life -- which has been often in my adulthood -- it's because I'm confident that I can do everything out of my own strength. I can handle everything. I can do everything, all by myself. It's only when I operate out of my own strength and talents that the pie seems to be shrinking. It's only when I start to become Miss Fancy Pants that time suddenly starts to dwindle. Meanwhile He's in the background saying "I AM. And you are not".
Anyone else running around trying to be their own demi-god? Show of hands? OK- just me then.
You would think that I'd have learned this lesson awhile ago, but the truth is I'm pretty stubborn. The same I-can-do-anything-that-I-put-my-mind-to attitude that got me to where I am today... well, is the same attitude that got me to where I am today. A double-edged sword, all of it. But the good news in all of this is that there is plenty, should I choose to accept it. He is abundant, should I choose to take off my Fancy Pants and let Him run this show.
What I'm very excited about is how revival and ample work together here: once the "bringing back to life" occurs, I'm NOT responsible for keeping the wheels on the bus. I am NOT responsible for ensuring the high is continued and I do right by this revival. He sufficient. He is enough. He is bountiful and rich and abundant and will take care of it. He promises to run this show, should I let Him. Do you want to know what I said to Him this morning? You can have your Fancy Pants back, God. Those britches were a little too big for me anyway.